minute by minute, day by day….
well, the last month has been a real test of faith and strength for everyone. dai has been in the hospital for the whole time with the exception of the 12 hours he was released, only to have him back in icu. i’m happy to say he is pretty much stable now, but the trade off is the medication he is on to stop the episodes is keeping him in what i can only call a super coma. very out of it and sleeping most of the time. do you want to hear the real kicker-while he was having these episodes, we were trying to get him into stanford or sfo so we can get a real team of neurologists to take an interest in not just keeping him stable but waking him up. however, now that the episodes have stopped, he is considered “stable” and no longer able to be admitted.
for the last few weeks i have been racking my brain trying to figure out the next best thing that we need to do for dai. what is the right road that we are supposed to do that will help him. yesterday while i was driving up here, i felt like it hit me. he needs to have his bone flap put back in. the dr.’s here said that he needs to be infection free for 6 weeks. the last time he had one was about 5 weeks ago, the first time he was admitted to the hospital. i really think it would be so important to dai to be whole again.
that is where i am at now. i am waiting for his insurance to call me back so i can start my one woman army to get them to authorize it and am going to talk to the hospitalist tomorrow to connect with them about how dai is stable enough to be transferred to the hospital where the original surgery was. the other thing we are dealing with is where is the right place for dai to go from the hospital. almost every place we have tried will not even consider taking him because of his fragile condition. getting his bone flap put back in will open up many more possibilities. i still feel, with my whole heart, that the oxygen chamber that we got him (thanks to all of you angels that donated and made it possible) is going to help him. unfortunately, we cannot find a place that will allow that to be put in the facility. however, if he has his bone flap put back in, we can bring him to the chamber. right now, without his bone flap, trying to drive him anywhere, is too much of a risk. all it would take is one trauma to the head, and i don’t even want to think about it.
the last few weeks dai has hardly opened his eyes, mostly due to the medication, partly due to being exhausted from being sick. yesterday when i got in to see him, i wasn’t going to let him just sleep. i sat him up and every time he tried to drift off, i woke him up again. after awhile, and some intense therapy, he was awake and listening. i was just talking to him about what he needs to do and that he needs to start trying to move his body and pull himself up like he was doing before. his eyes were starting to drift off again and i when i mentioned his sons name, his eyes shot open and he seemed like was just he was thinking about every great thing about his kid that he loved. it made me cry a little, he has so much waiting for him.
i’m sorry it’s been so long since we have blogged. it’s been day by day, emotionally, physically, spiritually, everything. but yesterday i realized that dai is holding on because he wants to. he wants to come back to us. he needs our help, he needs a good doctor that want to help him find his way. so that’s what we will find for him.
as always, thank you to everyone that continues to send dai love, prayers, and keep faith in him. i will keep you updated. i can feel that things are starting to turn around and i can’t wait. i am ready for it.
- mae
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One Love!
All donations go 100% to Chi's care. Thank you so much for your love and support. One love for Chi, Gina
mae mae… you are not a one woman army when you have the one love “chi army” behind you!
i am so happy that progress is among us…
love you sista!
one love for chi,
gina
you are not alone in this army. chi has friends, like me, rachel and stephanie in houston, who are praying for him and your family daily. there are fans around the world who cheerfor him in this venture. there are angels surrounding him.
faith is in your heart.
thanks shana… faith is key.
one love for chi,
gina
I wanted to do something for him and thought maybe I’ll write a song at first it was going to be a instrumental then I started to get some lyrical ideas.
I took the song to some dark places not, that I wanted to make it sad.
I wanted to try and capture the feelings that I have been feeling regarding Chi’s accident.
I was also trying to Express how maybe chi has been feeling.
I was just trying to be creative.
I was also trying to push a message of hope putting more of our energy to chi and his fight.
I imagined Chi’s fight inside his coma. Chi over coming it and waking up!
I was trying put that energy into the song as well.
I’m still working on it but it would be cool if u guys heard it cuz it’s about all of us.
http://www.myspace.com/insideoutrecordscaleb
it’s the first song on the player
Gina, I would like to formally offer you the position of Commander in Chief in the newly formed Chi Cheng Army I just created on Myspace…please accept the position, there is no one else who could possibly fill this role but you. You have orchestrated this whole OneLove community and have already done so much for our brother and his family. Without you, none of this would have been possible. So many people have come together for Dai and you have been the biggest reason why. I thought it was appropriate to create the Army and to offer you the top spot! We all always talk about the Chi Army, well, now we officially have one…and it is has already generated a lot of interest. So please accept!!!
And if anyone else agrees Gina should accept, let it be known in a reply!!!
NO QUIT CHI!!!
Matt
matt you are so sweet… anything for chi.
one love for chi,
gina
one love army is here indeed…mae please remember you re not alone…we keep praying…send our love to chi …so happy for news..
thanks for the update, i’ve been checking back here every day for like a month, wondering what’s goin on with him. still thinkin bout ya chi. get better soon man.
taggart
Gina’s right…you have a whole army behind you spiritually. I just wish we could all be there physically to form a huge circle around Chi and lift him back to us. But, if we all keep praying hard enough, there will surely come a day when all those prayer connections and all the Love pull him through, along with his own fighting spirit.
We really do appreciate the updates, though I know it’s hard to keep up with them while dealing with this. But it helps us to not feel so disconnected and helpless.
<3 to Chi~~~ Leslie (Sacramento)
Bless you Mae!
I’ll be down today with pictures, and music to hopefully spark Chi’s interest. Positiveness + Love is the key.
You stay strong – much love,
Karen – Chis’ mother in law
Mae, I check 3, 4, 5, or more times a day for an update, for good news. You are on the right road, have the right ideas, keep on, keeping on and you will make it happen!! There is a reason he is still with us and I believe he will make it through this. You are an “earth angel” and keep calling on God to guide you through this journey. WAKE UP DAI, WE LOVE YOU! Auntie Ann
God bless you, Mae. If Gina’s our general, you are Commander in Chief of the Chi Army!
I stop by the site every morning, hopeful and anxious, eager to read some good news. Messages like yours today, they mean a lot. I appreciate that you continue to include us in Chi’s recovery, that you understand what he means to us. Thank you for being there with him every day, vigilant, patient and strong. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of what he means to you.
Robert
Mpls, MN
Prayer Soldier
Thank you Mae and Gina!!!! I am so happy to hear that Chi is making progress. thank you!
Mae and Gina,
Thank you so much for posting.. I can only pretend it was my random comment that got you to do so. I know it seems without some massive turn it’s a lot to go and try to log everything for us bystanders, but I want you to know that somehow along the way I have come to care for Chi and for your family. I am soooo thrilled that he is able to be waking up randomly and all that! I am sure it’s hard to see him sleep so much now that he is able to be awake, but he’s doing what his body needs, you know? It’s hard to be patient, but you all are gifted in this area and I know all will be well soon.
My deepest prayers are with you that you will find the right course of events and be presented the opportunity and the right people who will continue this journey with you.
I am deeply grateful that you are including us in this long story that someone should really write into a book, a journal of this journey from everyone’s perspective! (I am an author, for real, you know.. I would love to do the story!) Anyway, aside from that, I am very pleased to hear from you and I hope you will find more time to write on here! Please tell him, if you can, (I’m sure everyone would love for you to do the same for them, but…) tell him that BonnieBB. sends her love. He probably won’t know me by name, but you could mention that they once stopped a show at the NorVa to mention my brother Nate Ballentine, who had passed away at that time. Maybe he will remember that. It was only about 4 years ago.
Anyway, I have been following this since the very beginning and can’t wait to see how it ends up and when. This was always going to be a long adventure, but thankfullly he has been up to it and i can’t wait to hear what he will have to say.
My love, strength and hopes to out to all of you. I am thinking of you often. Thank you for your updates and for sharing with us, a bunch of “strangers” the journey that your family is on.
BonnieBB.
Mae,
Please get in touch with Dr.John Madej. He was my doctor here in Lake County, where I live, but moved to Palo Alto last year. Call his office, explain Chi’s situation and ask to speak to him. If he is busy he will call you back. I would bet he will be able to help. He is the best Dr. I have ever been to and really cares about his patients. He also works with/at Stanford and will be able to refer you to neurologists for Chi and hopefully get him admitted in Stanford. Here is his website:
http://www.portolamd.com/doctorjohn.html
Read about him and his patient comments then decide. I don’t think you will regret it. He even makes house calls so maybe he can arrange to come & see Chi wherever he is located. It if wasn’t for Dr. Madej I would have never been dxed with MS which I was dealing with for over 25 years. He is the only Dr. who really took the time to listen & act. Please call him. He rocks.
Love & peace,
RC
Here is his cell # which he gives to all his patients:
650-468-1238
Keep me posted.
thank you for the update mae. as gina said, you have the whole chi army behind you! we can never predict what tomorrow will bring for chi, but you can guarantee there are people all across the country & all across the globe praying for him & for your family.
i hope a smile finds you everyday mae. these times are some of the hardest, but we are thankful for each small miracle we receive & for the life we breathe.
Thank you Mae for the update. It made me cry, but like you, I have faith and continue to pray for your brother. He means the world to me and I know in time, he’ll come back to us all.
Gina is right about the “army”. You do have us behind you and we love Chi, you and the whole family.
Much love to you!
Dearest Mae
thanks so much for the update on Chi!i was sad but happy to hear the news!!!!Alot of people love you Chi;get your rest&we’ll keep sending the love!
always carrying Chi and the Cheng gang in my prayers&thoughts everyday!
sending faith&prayers your way CHI!LOVE YA BROTHER!XOXOX
ONE LOVE FOR CHI!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t hear about the bone flap surgery happening? It makes sense that had to happen, hopefully they will say that Chi is ready for his bone flap to be put back in and that everything can move back on to the road of recovery! I love you Mae be strong and brave, you’ve made it this far more solid than any human I’ve ever seen going through such an arduous journey!! Rawk on sweety! If you need any help let us know and we’ll be here for you!!!!
Love Janine
Mae, Gina & MammaJeanne:
Thanks SO MUCH for the update! I talked to Gina a little while ago, and cannot believe that it’s already been FIVE WEEKS w/out an infection for our brother, Chi!! That is such great news, and hopefully, things will start coming together with getting him into a better place, and getting the brain flap put back on. I have continued to pray every morning and every night for Chi and all of you, sending all of the positivity & strength I can muster your way. And, btw, I agree with everyone else who said YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We are all here for you, this enormous, great, strong army full of love for your brother and family! And, of course, if I can be of any help, please DO NOT hesitate to call on me. Gina has my number. I would do whatever is within my power to do to help you and yours. I feel, in my heart, that we are forever connected, spiritually, because of these circumstances, and although they have been painful I am so eternally grateful to have been gifted with such a beauty thru all of you.
Gina mentioned u all had been wondering where and how I’ve been, and I apologize for not checking in before now. I am happy to say that I am all better now in regards to being ill (thank GOD!!!!), and now am just doing my best to get thru each day of my life, missing my brother, and reassessing things. I will continue to check in, and post to say hi more regularly now that I am well again.
STAY STRONG. YOU ARE LOVED, DEEPLY.
oneloveforchi…
p.s. anyone heard from matt lately? ive been thinking about him & hoping he is well.
i talked to matt last night.i added him as a friend on my space-he started the chi cheng army on there!which is very cool-add him if your on myspace.
ONE LOVE FOR CHI!!!!
please email me so i can become a friend of both of you. lkoehn81@hotmail.com. i would love to be in the chi cheng army!!!
I am here Patricia, I am doing good! Glad to hear you are doing better. Your brother and your family are still included in my pre-mish prayer too, so you guys have definately been on my mind as well. Take care,
NO QUIT CHI!!!
Matt
P.S. Gina, I dont know if you have recieved my emails, but there are a couple things I have been wanting to run by you, so whenever you get a chance, hit me up please!
will do
wow i am gonna feel like a tool for saying this but whats a bone flap. I have never heard if it before in my life. I am glad things are going better than before. I have been trying to get some of my buddies to donate money also but everyting i ask them all i hear is who the F#$# is Chi. I explain to them that he is one of the greatest bassists ever for one of the greatest bands….Deftones. Then everyone is like who is deftones..so i bring them to my room to listen to the song that most people do know…Change (in the house of flies) from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. So expect more money from my Marines here in Okinawa. Though most of them spend their money on booze and stuff. I am going to pray for this bone flap thing to be put back in because it sounds pretty important. God Bless and good luck.
Much Love,
David
Thank you Mae for your update and your bravery –
I’m so thankful that Chi has the family he has behind him, along with thousands of people who feel nothing but love and respect for him. It must be so hard to face this everyday, as well as frustrating to not get what Chi deserves. But thanks to you and your family’s persistence, along with all the love we keep sending Chi, there are little victories such as today when Chi was awake and repsonsive for a while.
I think about you all every day and not a day goes by that I don’t pray for you all and send you all the love I have in me. Please know that you are not alone! You and your family are very inspirational and I just know that Chi would never have come as far as he had without the love and care you give him. I hope the doctor mentioned above will be able to help (*cross fingers*)
I think it will all work out for the best and Chi will get his oxygen therapy after having his piece of skull put back – I really do feel that in my heart. One love – forChi
Hold on Chi. You know, you’re not alone.
Not a moment.
Dai is so blessed to have you and the support of your wonderful family and the OneLove family. There are people out there in similar situations that do not have this kind of support, no advocates. Let us keep the well being of ALL people in our prayers.
“bone flap” does sound odd, doesn’t it? A trauma to the brain can cause swelling, and removing a section of the skull-bone helps alleviate the pressure. Don’t know why they call it a “flap”, but they do.
But then they have to decide when to perform the surgery to replace it. They may not want to give him a general anesthetic before he’s fully awake for fear of putting him deeper into a coma. Or when he is recovering from an infection. Or maybe other complications I don’t know about. But his brain is very vulnerable while that section of bone sits in a freezer somewhere, waiting to go back where it belongs.
Hope I’m not over-explaining. The first time I heard “bone-flap”, I said “huh?”
Mae-Mae, I am so proud of you, honey. I always knew you were a tower of love, but your strength amazes me every day. Day by day, you are helping Dai find his way back to us. I love you. Like Aunt Ann said: keep on keepin on.
To all of the faithful Chi-army — thank you so much for staying with us. This is such a struggle, but the love and energy helps so much. Words truly fail me. I check the site several times a day looking for updates on Dai, of course, but also for the love and stories and strengthening comments you share. I know the rest of the family does too. I see all those hearts lit up on the map, and I know there is love coming from each one. I love you all.
One love — Aunt Mary
thanks for the info mae,
and yes… now it’s time to go forward, may be a good doctor, better one…
there isnt much i can really say, but chi, i just know you’re gonna be ok, im not really religious, but i have a feeling that somebody is out there looking after you, cos they know that its not time for you to go.
Peace
Stay Strong
Marcus
Thanks for the update.
I find it disgusting that places arent willing to accept him in his condition, nor a one doctor stepping up to chi. I mean, not only is it the right thing to do but he is a well known man, I feel like id be itching to have an opportunity like that.
Chi, stay strong.
Thanks for the update! It is hard enough to deal with the situation without all the other bs with the hospitals and insurance, etc. california right now is probably the worse place you could be in. so much beuracracy and not enough assitance. my in-laws fought for months and finally were able to move my husband to idaho to a wonderful rehab facility. don’t give up…praing in pennsylvania for chi & his family
hey there Chi-its Father’s Day..just wanted to let you know i’m still praying for you and my heart just hurts for you sometimes..especially on holidays.but i’m pretty sure your surrounded by all your loved ones on a day like this.although we all arent there with you we are with you in heart and mind. keep up the good fight Chi!!!!
love&prayers to the Cheng family and Gina
love ya Chi!xoxox
blessings to you too…
one love for chi,
gina
My friend Chi- My family and I continue to pray for you when we say the blessing before our evening meal.
Know that my 6 year old twins John & Hannah, and little Brother Samuel also add you to their evening prayers.
Know that you are loved by many & continue to trust in God.
This also extends to the family that is also under great stress.
We pray that your burdens be lightened & you are able to find peace a few moments each day so that you may also rest.
We will be away on vacation for the next week but our prayer vigil for all of you will continue.
Much Love To All Of You!
John & Family
thanks so much john! many blessings to you.
one love for chi,
gina
I am praying that a “Miracle Doctor” comes to Chi’s aid.
Mae, I hope that your high spirits will bring you a great doctor. I pray that your brother will come back to all of you and hopefully one day tell us what he did to keep his spirits up to survive. Will and I have him in our hearts and thoughts all the time. We wish your brother the best!
Lupe
Hi Gina,
I’m really praying hard for the the recovery and I am sure Chi will be Great sooon.
Im gonna spread the word to all the deftone fans in India and make all their prayers count. Thats my promise.
Much love
Samron
Systemhouse33
Have all the strength and support from south america .. God bless Chi … keep on’ fighting, we want you back !
Respect,
D.
Chile
My god. I have been praying for Chi and your family many nights. I have been a fan since I was 15 “1995″. Deftones helped me through every struggle I have had in my life. I have saeen them many times live. Although they are famous and I’ve never met any off them. I care about them like family for what they have done for me in the past. This just makes me sad, this whole situation that happened. I am hoping for the best everyday. Me and my close circle of friends will always have you in our minds and hearts.
You have many people behind you. Hope to help your family through this rough time, as Chi and the Deftones has helped me through the worst times in my life!!!
All the best……
Much love for Chi!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for keeping us all updated on chi
I can’t wait till he is back up on that stage rocking out with the rest of the band again. Chi is strong and I know he will make a great recovery.
But until then I am going to play hexagram nice and loud, just for him.
Peace, love and good happiness stuff
x
Hello
I just wanted to say that this website is such a good idea and all the people donating are very kind! I hope he gets better asap.I apologise for asking what may be a silly question but what is a bone flap? I can’t belive that places won’t take him and he isn’t getting specialist treatment/facilities that he needs.I hope the doctors sort this out soon. He will get better it will just take time and he needs all of this support.god bless him and everyone who cares for him.
Xx