THREE YEARS…

 

 

 

IS A LONG TIME ANY WAY YOU LOOK AT IT.

 

HONESTLY, AT THIS POINT, HINDSIGHT BEING 20/20, THE BEST WE CAN DO NOW IS KEEP DAI WHERE HE IS AT AND STAY THE COURSE, HOPING THIS IS THE BEST TREATMENT FOR HIM.

 

I WANT TO SAY THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART TO ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE GIVEN WHAT YOU CAN AND BEEN THERE FOR US. IT MEANS MORE THAN YOU CAN KNOW.

 

SO MY MOM AND I WERE IN TARGET A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.

 

YOU WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING FUNNY?” SHE ASKS

 

SO I’M IN LINE IN A CHECKOUT LINE AND THE LADY NEEDS TO SEE MY ID. SHE LOOKS AT THE ID, LOOKS BACK AT ME AN SHE SAYS IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE ME AND SHE WILL HAVE TO CALL THE MANAGER AND THAT IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE ME. I SAY ‘YEAH, IT’S A TERRIBLE PICTURE OF ME, I CAN’T WAIT TO GET A NEW ONE.’ SO THE MANAGER COMES DOWN, LOOKS AT THE ID, LOOKS AT ME AND BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO EMBARRESS ME, HE APPROVES IT.”

 

SHE PULLS OUT THE ID THAT SHE HAD PULLED OUT. IT’S DAI’S DRIVERS LISCENCE.

 

DOES IT LOOK LIKE MY MOM?

 

YEAH MAYBE. MAYBE IF SHE HAD DREADS. AND A GOATEE.

 

ANYWAY, TO MY SURPRISE, I KIND OF GOT A LAUGH OUT OF THAT. APPARENTLY MY MOM HAS TO CARRY AROUND DAI’S ID AS SHE IS HIS “CONSERVATOR.” SHE HAD TO GO TO COURT TO GAIN “CUSTODY” OVER HIS BODY; MEANING SHE HAS SAY OVER WHAT THEY DO TO HIM, WHERE HE GOES, ETC. NOT THE MOST GLAMOROUS JOB IN THE WORLD, AND I THANK MY MOM THAT SHE IS THE ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD THAT COULD HAVE PULLED THIS OFF FOR THE LAST THOUSAND PLUS DAYS.

 

I’M SCHEDULED TO BE IN JERSEY WITH MY BROTHER FOR 2WEEKS BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK. I TOO HATE SEEING PICTURES OF HIM ON THE INTERNET: SKINNY AS HELL AND LOOKING LIKE A ZOMBIE. I WISH I COULD TELL YOU HE’S MAKING LEAPS AND BOUND IN HIS PROGRESS, BUT IT IS VERY SLOW.

 

WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT, LIKE MY MOM SAYS “IN SOME INDESCRIBABLE WAY, HE IS GETTING BETTER. IT’S NOT THAT HE’S DOING BACKFLIPS, BUT MAYBE MORE OF AN AWARENESS OR CONSCIOUSNESS OVERALL THAT HE EXHIBITS. LIKE I SAID IT’S HARD TO DESCRIBE. I DO INTEND ON WORKING HIM PRETTY GOOD WHEN I GET THERE.

 

THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD PEOPLE WORKING WITH HIM DAILY(I WILL KEEP THEM NAMELESS SUMARTANS FOR TODAY): THE NURSES, ACCUPUNCTURISTS, DOCTORS, THERAPISTS, ETC. IN THIS AREA HE IS BLESSED.

 

THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE GIVEN TIME AND ENERGY INTO PUTTING HUMPTY DUMPTY BACK TOGETHER AGAIN-PLEASE KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR ACTIONS HAVE HELPED IN WAYS THAT REACH BEYOND MONETARY. FOR ALL THE PRAYERS, DONATIONS, TSHIRTS BOUGHT-THANK YOU FOR NOT GIVING UP ON OUR BROTHER CHI.

 

WELL, SPEAKING OF, TIME I GOT TO STUFFING SOME SHIRTS IN ENVELOPES. CHEERS PEOPLE! ONE LOVE FOR REAL! FOR NOW, -M.



22 Comments

  1. God bless you all..that is a great story..lol
    Chi is in my prayers as are you..sincerely…in for the long haul if necessary…janettexxx

  2. Aunt Mary |

    BWAAAA-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA! That’s my sis! Thanks for the laugh, Ming….she’s sitting next to me…laughing and grateful for the kindness that people show, like not mentioning the facial hair.

  3. I am curious what the next steps are with Chi–I keep checking back here once a week at LEAST, and months ago kept tabs on this doctor(s) who gave an 84% chance of him “coming out of it”. Is Chi going to do this treatment? And what does that “success rate” mean for the patient? I know Chi will never be the same…but if “success” means him able to take care of himself, that’s a blessing. I guess I just am asking what goals or target are you shooting for in the future as far as Chi’s improvements? Thanks…and I love this man, I wish I could visit him. :)

    • dear sam, trust me when i say, no one is as frustrated with me when it comes to washy statistics and stuff like that. i miss my best friend and wouldn’t wish his life on anyone at this point. i saddens me everyday, but all we can do is hold on and hope/pray for the best. i’m not a big godfreak or anything, but i want my brother back. when there is good news, you will be the first to know about it here. thanks for your concern for our brother. peace, -M.

  4. I noticed no hearts on the map for Afghanistan. I know of one Deftones fan, even better that he knows and has met Chi. All over the world we are thinking of you, even when we have a big respobsibility on our hands. You inspire us, you make beauty and art and i Love you for that.

  5. Matt Smith |

    That is a priceless story. Chi is still with you! Much love… Matt

  6. This story made me smile! And I just wanted to say that I haven’t stopped thinking about you and your family, especially Chi. One love.

  7. A LETTER TO MAE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO… (warts and all)

    I just dropped a line on headupchi page so I thought I’d see how you’re doing and respond to your message. No, I haven’t ever met your brother. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen him play yet either. But I can wait until he’s ready. Actually, I was hoping to see them when I came across the news of the accident.
    You know how occasionally a song will just grab you? I mean the kind of “grab you” like if you’re just pulling up to your job 5 minutes late and this song comes on the radio, you’ll sit there in you’re car till it’s over to find out what the song is.
    Well, about 5 or 6 years ago I lived in an apartment on the 2nd floor, sort of overlooking the lovely parking lot. I was in the bathroom and had just been trying on different thing to wear to wherever it was I was going, and I heard this song coming up from a car that had stopped right below my bathroom window, in the parking lot. This song was beautiful and heavy. And, while I usually try to avoid the windows when I’m not completely dressed, I carefully peeked out and saw that the music was coming from my neighbor Carlos’ car. Carlos and I had been doing some serious flirting with one another around that time. So, I’m standing by the window half dressed looking down at cute Carlos and I was in the middle of changing my clothes and the song comes up saying, clear as day, “I watched you change.” And Carlos smiles up at me. AAAckk! I pulled the blind down, not quite sure how to take it. Later I asked Carlos what the song was and who it was, cause I had to have it. Carlos claimed it was purely a coincidence and that he had NOT watched me change and told me the song was by the Deftones and made me a CD. I’ve been quite taken by every song I’ve heard of theirs since.
    In December I was googling Deftones to find a show. My son and I like to go to concerts together and I really wanted to hear them live. I quit watching the news and reading the paper a couple years ago (too depressing) so I had no idea what was happening with your brother. When I read about it, my heart sank and filled with sadness and anger. The anger came from my experience dealing with medical professionals who were driven by something other than a Love for and reverence of Life. I imagined the things that those closest to the situation might be being told by doctors. From my own experience I figured that there was probably a whole lot of negative energy being brought into a situation that had no place there. And when people are in pain they look to “experts” and trust them to help them understand. I felt that, because I had the experiences that I did, that I had to see that Chi’s family and loved ones could hear a different view, a positive one. It weighed on me until I found you. Once I knew that you were his family and I had said what I had wanted to say, the sense of relief was remarkable. And now he seems to always be in my heart and mind and I do focus on his healing, and have recruited meditations from friends in Belgium, the Philippines, Australia and Norway. They, in turn have recruited energy from all over too. And that, my friend, is the story of my relationship to Chi. In other words, he doesn’t know me at all! Funny, isn’t it? How he is always in my thoughts and he does not even know me, nor I him. But it is beautiful too.
    Much Love and respect,
    Tara

  8. I just came across this on my computer and thought I’d share. <3 Tara

  9. Erin Nichols |

    I’ve been thinking about you guys a lot lately. I’m glad Dai’s still making progress, and I totally understand what you mean by it’s hard to describe. Sam is over 4 years post injury and he continues to make slow progress. Stay stong and keep the faith. You guys are doing great.

  10. Alex Hunter |

    I can’t say I know what you guys are going through, and wont pretend to. It’s easy for a person to say “keep your head up” or “Stay positive” but in this time I hope you guys do (as you always seem to have) I know there are probably days where things seem hopeless, given the circumstances the strength of your family is incredible, and its easy to see how Dai became such an incredible individual. I pray for him always and ask the Orishas to allow there to be some huge leap of progress, but if its coming even if its slow I’m happy. Get well Chi, your to damn Awesome not to.

  11. Kinda strange… I work as a nurse in surgery at a children’s hospital, and at the moment I’m sitting in the OR waiting on my next case. I’ve got a little time, so I figured I’d get online and see how brother Chi’s been progressing. I’m really happy to see how much he’s improved, and I’m also glad to see that there are still so many people out there just like me who love and support him on his journey back to us. In my day to day work I get to see so many amazing things come from tragic beginnings. None of it is easy! My wife and I went to see Deftones in Chicago this summer and I cried for awhile because something was missing for me. She never got to see him play. I hope your Dai can feel the love and energy being sent his way, and many blessing to all you that care for him! Love you Chi, I keep you in my thoughts…

  12. I check here often to keep up on Chi. Deftones music has touched me in many ways over nearly 20 years. I hope I’m not out of place in mentioning this news story I read today- this is not spam or a plug, I just found it interesting, and I have no idea if this has been considered for Chi- he may actually be medically better than the patients in this article, I’m not sure:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/04/magazine/can-ambien-wake-minimally-conscious.html?_r=1&hp

    Best wishes to the Cheng family. I can only imagine how difficult this is.

    • hello,

      ya – we have already tried this. didn’t work. :(

      thanks for your love and support for chi.

      one love for chi,
      gina

      • Alejandra Roman |

        UGh, Im so sorry to hear this. I just finished reading that magazine and wrote to you guys hoping I could help..so disappointed this did not work.
        Thanks for keeping us posted
        <3

      • Hi Gina,

        I just sent two separate messages via the “Contact” link on this page. Just wanted to make sure you receive them. Both messages that I sent discuss two separate articles that I came across regarding the use of the drug “apomorphine” for the treatment of MCS. Apparently, some dramatic results have been achieved with the use of this drug. Not saying it will definitely work for Chi, but it might be worth looking into.

        One Love For Chi,
        Tom Illgen

  13. I grew up with Chi and the deftones music through junior high through adolescence and even to this day. Deftones have always been my favorite band and I feel like a part of me is always with them, and them with me.

    It pains me to see your hurting and I offer my wholehearted sympathies. Respect and much love for Chi, who has already done so much for all of us. It’s now time to give back. We are here for him and for your family. These are trying times but love always prevails.

  14. God bless all of you… Its been over 3 years of pure pain now… Thank you for being strong for him, hes so lucky to have such a stong and loving family. Best wishes! Love ya, Chi… You’ve got a Christmas card and a gift coming your way!!!

  15. Darren Moore |

    It saddens me that this is the first that I’ve heard of Chi’s accident. As I’m looking though all of this, I am brought to tears. I pray for Chi’s full recovery. Chi is a major influence of my musical instrument of choice. Please give him my best wishes. For Chi’s family I wish you too the best.

    Thank you
    Darren

  16. I have been listening to Deftones since ’96 when my friend first let me borrow his CD. I have had the pleasure of seeing them live a number of times! One of the loudest and most significant bands in the history, the world misses Chi terribly, and a lot of times I wonder what it would be like to see him performing once again and throwing his bass around. I hope you get to do that again soon Chi, much love bro!

  17. Hello,

    I just wanted to drop a quick line to let you know how sad I was to hear of Chi’s accident. While I am not a huge Deftones fan, it really doesn’t matter as Chi is a fellow bassist (and human being). That said, I wanted to just send Chi and his family my love.

    I understand from reading this site that he is progressing, albeit at a slow pace. Just remember – slow and steady wins the race. It’s great to hear that Chi is receiving the best care. Someone in an early post had a great idea about playing Deftones music for Chi. I think that would provide great inspiration for him. Of course, I wouldn’t overdo it as every musician has a limit of how much of their own music they can listen to in one sitting. :)

    One love for Chi,
    Tom

  18. Nalla The Black |

    I’ve never posted here before and I don’t know how to send a private message to Chi’s family, so this is my best bet. I didn’t use my real name, cuz I honestly don’t want any personal recognition from this. I just want Chi to get well. I’ve been a Deftones fan for a long time and while I can’t say that Chi was one of the reason why I picked up the bass to begin with, I can definitely say that he has been a huge inspiration to me. His subtle, nuanced, in the pocket bass lines made me realize that I didn’t have to play big, loud, complicated riffs to be a real musician. I was deeply hurt when I logged on to myspace that cold, December day and read Chino’s report to the legion of fans. One of my favorites and biggest influences had nearly lost his life. I have tried my best to follow his recovery ever since. I don’t believe in miracles, but I do believe in the strength of will and I believe any human could pull through this. If possible, I would hope that if Gina or Momma J were to see this they would copy it and read it to him, hoping that it would help in his recovery. I know it’s only a drop in the bucket of strength he’ll need to recover, but every little bit helps right? Chi, I speak for myself and all Deftones fans when I say that we miss you and can’t wait for you to return. I know you can pull this off. You have been a great inspiration to me and an entire generation of my fellow bassists. We love you and we are praying for you.

    Signed

    Nalla

Leave a Reply









site by gina❤